The church disappoints again
We went to a church with high expectations this am. How wrong we were! It was the same old formula and the same old “fake gospel” that drives me nuts. The type that promises that God will always bless us if we stop winging, tithe and believe, and by blessing they mean financial abundance of course.
I am sad, disappointed and discouraged and desperate for some real Christians to hang out with.
Have we got it wrong? Is this really what God wants- a bunch a middle class people with their Sunday smiles on jumping and clapping and waving their hands and proclaiming this and that? Singing about dancing on injustice and being sold out for “Him” as they conclude their Sunday with an array of biscuits, chocolate and cake, coffee and drive back to their middle class homes feeling like they have done their bit for God this week
One of the leaders talked about partnering with someone this week. Yes my heart screams that is what I want what I have always wanted someone who is older and wiser who will listen to my struggles without using Christian platitudes or stupid prosperity nonsense who will simply love me, drink tea with me and read scripture with me. Trouble is I wouldnt “partner” with any of the makeup wearing seemingly bright shiny woman there. They are all smiles and kisses but I can hear the christianese flowing from their pores.
I am lost and confused. What to do? I want to go to church, I want to spend time with other believers but when I do I want to run away as soon as I get there. Should I suck it up and spend time with these people because at least it is someone? I ignored my heart before and if you have read any of my blog you can see where that got me.
RSS Trackback URL 24. August 2008 (15:45)Filed under: Uncategorized
5 Comments»
kel
25. August 2008 | 12:48 hDearest Lou
I hear your heart’s cry, it resonates strongly with mine. It’s not an easy path to walk, or journey to seek, because it goes against the flow. I have refused to suck it up, and instead chose to spit it out. Still chewing on the alternatives, one of which is “community” with like-minded friends all over the world via blogs.
Holding you in my thoughts and prayers.
lou
25. August 2008 | 18:03 htrouble is I am not the going against the flow sort of person. In the quiet of this morning God spoke to me again of being a revolutionary and if you look at natural revolutionaries they were often quite alone and out of the norm- So my question is why choose me to do that I am a social being who needs people to like me to keep me pyscologically afloat. I didnt get an answer to that. But what you say Kel is just further confirms what is in my heart. That Matt and I must choose the other path, I guess why scripture calls it “the narrow way”. Sometimes I just wish the road wasnt so narrow.
Kel
25. August 2008 | 20:54 hi hear what you’re saying, none of us would choose to be “not normal” in the sense of being revolutionary and stepping outside the usual flow, none of us like to be criticised or ostracised by “The group”
B is like you, social approval is more important to him than for me, it is to me to an extent, but I guess I have more of an independent streak in me, but it’s still hard to step out and go against the flow regardless of temperament,
- i read a great
poem on the weekend which speaks of this kind of journey, and have just posted about it, my reflections on it, regarding blog buddies, includes yourself and Matt
just had a thought, will email you something…
Sue
26. August 2008 | 23:00 hNO! DON’T SUCK IT UP! Don’t do it!
LOL
Hi Lou. Thanks for dropping over to my blog
You know, I admire you for going to that church building, I really do. Every now and then I get desperate myself, and think, “Oh, come on. Maybe it won’t be so bad. I’ll just try and ride all the other crap for the community.”
But sheesh, I dunno - I just can’t do it. I just can’t physically do it. I’m in the same spot as you in a lot of ways. Hanging for community. But just hanging on to the thought that Papa is going to knit me in when the time is right, whatever that may look. Even though his timing is so interminably slow
Heather
27. August 2008 | 15:11 hI know exactly how you feel. After being out of the church scene for nearly 8 years, I have tried going back only to find myself wanting to run screaming from the building. I just want to get away from people talking churchspeak instead of like real people and being bright and shiny and telling you to give them more money when I would rather give it to people who REALLY need it, etc etc etc. I’m still looking for more real Christians to hang out with - maybe these online communities are the answer for me too. I’m so glad I found this blog - it gives me hope I’m not the only one who feels this way. Sigh.