Not As Much..

Proud Parent

My nine year old beauty had a principal role in the school play this week. She had to sing a solo. This was a huge effort for a child who, not unlike her mother, continually questions her self worth and abilities. Seeing her up there on stage made me cry with pride.

Mouthing the words with her and praying she wouldn’t freak out when looking out to the 250 strong crowd, I’m not sure who was more nervous me or her. I would not have loved her any less if she had,I could never have done what she did at 9 or any age for that matter. I am so excited for her that she pushed through her fears and doubts and achieved what she did. So many parents congratulated her not knowing that there were a few nights when she was hysterical because it was all to hard. I am glad we pushed her a little and didn’t allow her to back out. At the time that seemed mean (especially when she was so upset) but how much better the result we have now. An increase in confidence and self worth forged by a little pain and much perseverance

I wondered today on reflection if this is how God feels when he looks down and sees one of his kids overcoming fear and insecurities. I wonder too if He gently pushes us towards things that may seem painful and hard but which in the end will see our character become strong and resilient and more like Him

And for that I thank Him. Without the past 3 years of yuck I would still have a faith that was based on a formula that some one else had taught me. I would not have a personal real relationship with Him and I would be living a life in bondage to the bright sparkly church world

Thanks for the little push, for the helping hand, the encouraging whispered words and for not giving up on me. I only hope as I stumble along trying to face my fears and doubts that You are as proud of me as I was of my little one this week

RSS Trackback URL 5. September 2008 (20:55)
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